Thursday, June 20, 2013

Doing the Best Job I Can

As most of you know, my beloved father passed away in October. Last week was Father's Day, of course, and it was strange because I did not have to buy a card for him for the first time in decades. Since I was a little girl, I've always tried to find or make a card that explained how much I truly loved him. I think he knew, but I liked to say it out loud.
Since October, I have had to pay numerous hospital, ambulance, electic & gas, cable, you name it, bills leftover from my father's life. This has not been easy, and I've had to take money out of my IRA in order to afford these bills. In the meantime, I've been in probate trying to settle the rest of my father's financial affairs. The fact that I live in Idaho and he lived in New York makes that a bit complicated, but not impossible.
Seventeen years ago, I was in a similar situation when my 28-year-old husband died of a genetic liver disorder. Back then, I really didn't know what I was doing. All of a sudden I was a young widow with a toddler and kindergartner, lots of bills, and no one to help me. On top of that, I received some criticism from people about how I handled the funeral, eulogy, and what type of wife I was. That was like being kicked when I was down.
We all know that people grieve in different ways. I am putting a pin in my grief, really, until I get my father's affairs settled. Otherwise, I will go crazy. I'm hoping that others see that I am doing the best I can and cut me some slack. My father was everything to me, and I would rather have him than his money. I think you understand.

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